Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Keeping My Promise

I have promised myself I shall write. I am sticking to it. I know it will take time to write anything of any substance. I feel brain dead. :~O

Im going to do something I have never done before. Open my blog to Facebook. Yes yup. EVERYONE will see it. *deep sigh* I can do this... I can do this... I can do this... *crosses fingers* please let me be brave enough for this. People in my town (myself included) do nothing but talk. Lets see how it goes. :) Maybe they will get to know the kinder, softer side of Tracy. The side that most of JS knew.  Tracy's

Here it goes.

I have been having issues sleeping past 4am for months. I am getting fed up with it. Saturday morning I woke at the usual 4 am smoke break and could not get back to sleep. Figures. So I did what the rest of the world would do and went online. I checked my emails and noticed one from a person I haven't spoke to in a long time. Maggie. Miss Maggie ( or as some of us know her...Life Lived) whom I adore and love. I became so excited to see it there and couldn't wait to read what she had to say.

She told me about a friend who had a heart attack and passed. She wanted to tell me she loved me. I felt like things are not right. As if she was warning me about an unknown sickness. As I read I could feel my eyes swelling up with tears. I thought about her past breast cancer. I became fearful inside. I do not want to lose her. I do not want to lose anyone else. These past two years have been utter hell. I want those feelings to end. My colours have been gray for along time. I must brighten them up.

She loves me... :)  I love her also.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Making Time for Sleep

This is my first post in years. I spoke about writing again but waited and thought about where to blog. I ended up coming back here. I plan on changing my id name. I do not think Ladylove is fitting anymore.

I wanted to write so many times this week and now that I have this thing half ass fixed up; I am sleepy. Go figure.