I have been writing in the early hours. I like doing that. It is my alone time. For a very long time it was the time of the day when I used to drink coffee with Cowboy, stare at Jamie and wish I was somewhere else in the world. Then it became my Johnny lovin time. That is also changing. Now it is my time. I have begun the process of refocusing myself again.
I talked to Cowboy yesterday (i try to everyday) about how I act when I get scared; I withdraw. I did it to him and now I fear doing it again. He told me it don't feel very good when I do that. It hurts. I never tried to do that. I think it is a method self protection that I evolved when Jim was in my life. I am fighting it like no man biz right now. Sorry Cowboy, you mean alot to me and I would never want to hurt you. *BHK*
Jonathan got into school. I am very excited for him. It is a great opportunity for him. He will be a very good high school teacher. I wish him all the best in his endeavors. I will support him in anyway I can. He is a great man and deserves this. This Saturday we have some kind of party to go to. It has been 10 years since the 1999 Canada Games and it is a reunion of some kind. I shall go to see what it is all about. *raises eyebrow*. Next week we go to Sin John's (hehehe) we are leaving on Thursday and wont be back till Sunday. I am looking forward to it. I hope all goes well for us. I plan to take my laptop so I wont lose contact with anyone. OF COURSE I AM TAKING MY CAMERA. I hope Jon do not mind stopping so often for photos but he will have to with me in...lol.
Mary anne is going to Sin John's this weekend. I now know that I will spend a bit of time there this summer. It shall be a girlfriend summer. It could get very interesting. lol. I look forward to it. Our drinks in Big Cook's, driving all over newfie land with her, camping, swimming, hiking, fishing (ok she dont fish to much but sits and drinks wine while i do..lol). I also have sissy wedding in August. I got to get on the ball with that. *grins*
I have a very busy day today. Not so much with clients but my life. I have to see Dr. Coffey (Dashers dad) about my leg. I have to go to the dump...lol. yip the stinky dump. I still have the issue of tossing out my garbage on the proper day...LOL. I just try to drive it over every so often. I will take my camera. I hope to see the big shithawks and the family of eagles that live there. They are magnificent. I need to do my hair. I need the back cut. Mom wants me to regrow it. Cowboy said something once about my haircut..." I did it in response to Jamie" I think he is right. I tried to take my softness away. It didnt work as well as planned...my heart is still soft. I hide a small part of myself deep inside in hopes not to have it hurt. The lil girl in me I assume...
Holy cow...it is daylight out now. I have to go get my day started. I need to go get that stupid bloodwork done over...I am having the surgery on the 31st. I am happy about that. It is LONG over due. Then off to the dumppity dump!!!! lolol.
Hope you all enjoy your day! *kisses*
