I need to write. I have been gone so long from you all that I have forgotten how to communicate in this medium. My life has consisted of facebook and the odd email. Knowing my friends are hurting and are so far from me ...hurts moi. I wish for one day we could all be together to laugh, cry, get angry, fustrated...let our emotions flow and ebb into each others...as we do here.

I wonder why I have closed down so much of myself since the great js crash...i still have no answer for it. I believe it is the fact that I could hide there...here i dont feel that yet. I dont feel the privacy I felt when on js. I know one thing for sure...in doing so i have somehow closed out those who matter. I NEED to change that.

I am going to try to make a promise to myself...take one photo a day and write a poem to go with it. I may have to force myself to post but i will. It is hard not taking photos daily...I think much of my stress was relieved from those moments with the camera...I shall make Jonathan take me for a drive tomorrow to get some photos....out the bay.

I miss you all....very much. *kiss* I hate that it is what it is.......